Dear Diva,
  
  I am a mother of three beautiful boys. Yes, I am a single black mother, but
sometimes it feels like I have help-the father is around. He come’s and go’s as he
pleases. I want to keep the door open for my children, but I want him to be a
better father. He says things like, he wants to be there, but he can’t because he
does not get along with my family and the town. Where I stay the young males are
always fighting, shooting, and ganging, and he say he does not want part in that.
I really do respect that, but then to, he doesn’t come around two and three weeks.
I love him, and he tells me that I am the one he will marry. But he has to
girlfriends in the town he works. He tells me all the time that no one will want
me with three kids, and now I am starting to believe it. What is a girl to do?

      Dear Diva:

You and those beautiful boys deserves the very best your spirit has to offer. The only real and true relationship that you will every have is between you and God.  Depending on a Man to find you happiness is the quickest way to unhappiness. To err is to be human. It is now time to honor yourself and honor your boys by focusing your energies on providing a better way out of no way. Love is a verb. It is an action. If he is not financial, emotionally and physically supporting your endeavors of raising health boys, then he does not love you nor the boys. Even so, he is the father of the boys, so let them see him as long as the relationship bears some form of productiveness.  The boys know if they father loves them or not. In your case, you think love must hurt to be real and that is not true. Love honors, respect and makes you real good all the time. When true love is around it does not hurt, it empowers.

Him telling you that you will not find a man with three children, is not love.  It is control. I know a sister with 6 kids by another man who found love because she believes she is worthy and started looking for love inside of herself. So, the divine Diva manifested it in the physical. So, associate with good people. Take you and your children outside of your surrounding to find your peace.  It may mean moving to another state or place. You do not have to settle or believe what other believe about you. 

Say this chant over and over until it becomes apart of you and I know you will create a different life for you and your boys. Your boys are depending on you to show them how a man is suppose to treat a woman. The example that you are exposing them to are not healthy. It is your responsibility to teach them better. You can do it, you must do it.

I am a dynamic diva and I deserve the very best that life has to offer: a healthy relationship with me and for me and my boys. 

I love you,

Diva

I shared “ask the diva” with you today because this type of relationship all Divas of various race, creeds and other experience: staying in toxic relationship that do not honor them out of fear and not love. 

You are welcome to “ask the diva” at www.thedynamicdiva.com/ask.html

Please let’s engage in comments to help heal each other…….

Peace,

Elon  

If you have a pressing question regarding any of your health,wealth or spiritual concerns, you can Ask The Diva. At http://www.thedynamicdiva.com, we have a wonderful advice page available. All you need to do is email us a question at askthediva@thedynamicdiva.com and visit our website for the answer. Here is an example of Ask the Diva for your perusal,enjoy.

Ask the Diva

I have been married for 30 years but I never got involved in the business aspect of our marriage and now my husband is chronically ill and I am panicking. Can you offer any suggestions on how I can find out where to begin looking into our business affairs, for example, savings, will, tax returns, etc?

Panicking in Texas

First and foremost, during this very trying time, I want to send you my prayer that divine spirit is with and your husband.

I encourage you right now to take a breath and give yourself the opportunity to love your way through this situation. Please choose not to panick but instead pray with the purpose of knowing that everything is going to all right. You are never given a task that you are not equipped to handle. Rejoice, this is your opportunity to “grow” up financially.

Diva, you are not alone when I say that like you, many women ,including myself, have been conditioned to believe math and money matters are not a girls best friend. We should depend on the man of the house to handle our finances.

Well, you have the power to change your condition by adopting a new thought. You are capable and qualified to handle your finances. Believe this and you will achieve it.

Here are the necessary steps you need to take to get control of your finances:

1. Develop a Wealth Conscious- have a positive attitude that you can handle your finances.
2. Get your finances in order- locate all of your financial paperwork.
Update your financial statement, budget, retrieve 2 year tax returns and get an up-to-date copy of your credit report. Go over your will with an attorney, review life insurance papers, get a power of attorney and hopefully you have a healthcare power of attorney incase your husband become incompacitated.
3. Seek the assistance of a competent financial advisor that can help sort out this information and can best educate you on how to handle you particular situation.

Once the dust settles regarding these matters, I would purchase two books, Wealth Chants and Dynamic Diva Dollars from www.thedynamicdiva.com These dynamic duo of books will help you develop a prosperity mindset and help you get your finances in order by teaching you financial techniques that will help you not only financially survive but thrive!

In the meantime, I will continue to pray for you and your family.

The Dynamic Diva